A Short Horror Story…about poop

She’s been asking to poop in the woods for months. Every single trail we’ve convinced her to hold off: we don’t have the right equipment, we are close to the car, we’ll give you a granola bar if you don’t, on and on. Over the weekend, on our family backpacking trip, we granted her wish. Runa christened the unused trowel within 15 minutes of our arrival at camp.

It started innocently enough. She told me that she had to go to the bathroom. I asked if it was a #1 or #2. She grinned. It was time. I began to dig the hole but she quickly told me that it was simply not big enough. Her father came over and began digging too. Once it was deemed acceptable, I showed her how to squat properly. Runa laughed and said that she would not be doing that. I had to hold her body into a potty position. She completely removed her clothing, a sign of the horrors to come, and started the process.

Frustration took over. Why isn’t this working, she asked. Well, probably because I’m holding you over a hole in the middle of the woods, but I told her that she probably needed to drink some water and wait. If a four year old lacks anything, it is patience. We persisted.

Grunts and toots filled the air. Before I was ready for it, she looked up and locked eyes with me. Red faced and gritting her teeth, she exhaled and smiled. She whispered, “It’s coming”.

What followed was a lifetime’s worth of nightmares. By the end of it, she was skipping away, in search of a snack. I was shaking, gagging, and covering a steaming mess with a new shovel. She hasn’t asked to poop in the woods since. I haven’t been able to close by eyes without seeing the flashbacks either.

We did it.

*****

So! We went on our first family backpacking trip this weekend! We wanted to celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary and test out some new gear. I’ll do a full trip post and gear review later on when I’ve had some time to reflect. We all took a ton of notes and I’m still physically exhausted, so please forgive me for not updating you quicker! The day before our trip, I trail ran the hike to check out the site and water sources. Then we did two days of hiking and a night of camping. Even today we did a quick hike with our friends and a day at the lake. Your girl is tireddddd. But I promise to make a post soon and share our adventures.

Fun fact! Derek and I were looking at the calendar and we are officially under 600 days until we depart for our thru hike of the AT. The days are flying by and we are filled with excitement and wonder.

Happy Hiking!